So ancient wisdoms keep telling me to try all sorts of things. While I appreciate the advice nothing is touching me..not really.
I do not want to be rid of them.
But they told me the other day:So, Aluna – if you have actual free will, then you are guilty if you do the wrong thing? even if you haven’t willed one way or the other you are still responsible?But if you do have free will, how can you ever fail to be free? If you have no control of the past, of all the events and other people around that made you -” us” who we are?Can still assume responsibly for it -?? Like yeah i can but it’s as if people around me don’t quite understand or won’t accept that.Is it just to them that sometimes irreversible psychological / brain damage can be done through kundalini / sunstances etc? But then it’s not their place to accept it because it’s my issue.
Awakening is always a painful, chaotic processes. Maybe i did it too fast – I was not ready to give up and transcend in such a short space of time??? I just feel so alone and afraid as I can see what I’ve chosen to do. So many regrets. Nobody understands but then why would they, before i awoke, eating shit drinking poison and seeking death, to a path of only things that repairs my DNA and my brain… but same time taking psychoactives and thinking I could be ready to reach my higher, timeless self. It was making me see and this experience was i not ready..? I’m just waiting now, I don’t know what for. To hover in limbo…. Maybe, is this not a bad thing? .maybe I will see that soon?My brain be like;
3.14 pie,
42 – the answer to the universe according to legends,
So,
If you take pie a 3 dimensional decimal number, and covert it into a simple flat 2D “whole” number you would add 3+1 = 4
42
…
The answer that shows us binarys 1 and 2, good and back black and white etc…
Whereas pi represents loop of infinity, the circle of life. The spectrum, the colours –
42 is the wrong answer
3.1242 may seem logical, but human logic is not comprehensive,
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